twosetsofdogtags: (you know what else freaks me out?)

[personal profile] twosetsofdogtags 2014-06-28 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
In the army, they give you two sets of dog tags. One they lace through your boots in case your head gets blown off. They figure if they can't find you they'll at least find your boots. Uh uh. I can only do this if I don't look at you. My best friend over there was this girl named Becca. I met her my first week. We used to play cards together after lights out using these little... goo flashlights? Um. One night there was a rocket attack in a remote outpost. It was bad. I should've been there, but my superior sent me back to the barracks. They said I'd worked a double. There was this, um, five year old kid on the side of the road. Becca wanted to stop to give him some candy. He threw a backpack. The blast took out two seven-ton trucks and everybody in them. One of them was Becca. They found her boots. She had a baby at home. I should've been there but I wasn't. So. That's one thing that happened.

[I'm sorry you lost your friend. I'm sorry that happened. ]

Yeah.

--

I have the nightmares. You know what else freaks me out? Headlights. A car comes around the corner at night, my heart jumps out of my chest.

[Whistles.]

Backpacks.

[Children's toys.]

Hot days.

[Yeah, hot days. Heat.]

--

[We're not together now but we were in Iraq. Well, we had this intense chemistry and then kept our hands off each other and then she came home and found out that her husband had been screwing around on her the whole time so then she got stop-lossed and came back to Iraq and we fell in love. She told me she was going to get a divorce ...]

--

She could die, Helen, I don't know what else to do.

--

Hey, don't be brave on my account. I'm no good to you if you're not honest.

--

Hi, my name is Veronica. I was a nurse in Iraq and ever since I got back my-- like you, my reactions to things tend to be a little out of proportion. Um. My marriage is ending. It's my fault. I-- I had an affair with this doctor guy while I was in Iraq and he, um, he then had the genius idea to move here when he got out without any advance notice. Anyway, my husband found out. Um. I mean, he's a really great guy and I love him a lot but he was sort of expecting the girl he married to come back and she kinda left the building my second week in the desert, you know. And that doctor guy, man, I really care about him, but... not that it matters because he met somebody else. So. All the men are gone. And I'm still living with my parents which is a little like its own hideous situation comedy. Wow. I'm talking a lot. But I'm fine. I've, um, I've decided to take a break from drinking, which is very good, and I'm also working a lot which is totally saving my ass. I guess it's just weird, because Iraq was-- well, you guys know what Iraq was like but every time I heard those choppers, I knew exactly what to do. Now I've got no freaking clue. So. (I hate that.)

--

He's having a crisis of faith. I don't know what to tell him. I mean, after what we saw over in the sandbox, I don't have a lot of faith in faith. What got you through over there?

--

I lost my faith too, you know. I went to war and I saw some things and then I just could not get with God anymore.

[So what do you believe now?]

I think that's God's in people. I think that the Devil is in people too. I had this soldier bleed out on me on his 19th birthday. You could tell that he was a good boy, like one of my brothers maybe. I held his hand while he was dying. All I could think was "Who could point their gun at this boy and point the trigger? How can we do that to eachother?" But you know what one of his buddies told me? He ran into the shooting to save this little girl. Who has that kind of courage and grace at 19 years old? That's miraculous to me. Maybe that's enough.

[I still miss God.]

Me too.

--

I saw this pig and I thought of you. Wait, that didn't come out right. I got you this pig, Mike. I'm told it's the dumbest present ever but... it's for you.

[You carried this around just for me?]

You have no idea. Just don't eat it all in one sitting.

--

It's in your nose. Gets on the hairs in there.

--

There was this terrorist group that flew hijacked planes into the towers and they fell. Three thousand people died. September 11, 2001. There's been a war going on ever since. I went there. It was-- I wish I could've slept through that. You're lucky you did. Anyway, the whole country freaked out. People were scared in a whole new way. It's a different world.

--

Can we talk about the gigantic elephant in the ambulance?

--

Remember Dubai?

[Cheap way to win a game.]

Who said this was a game? That three day leave in Dubai was the best three days of my entire life. Oh and by the way, we're tied.

--

Well, I gave it my best shot. [walks away] You know, I don't mean to be a sore loser but the game was rigged! First of all, you are taller than me and you played in high school and there were unfavourable weather conditions--

[That's not rigged, that's life.]

"That's not rigged, that's life." That is exactly my point, Chris. Life is rigged. I mean, you show up here just as I am trying to get my marriage back together so I try and do the right thing and then you just happen to meet this totally awesome girl - who, PS, I love - plus, I am actually a really fun girl when I'm not half out of my mind with PTSD. And all I really want is to get back to those three days in Dubai with you because I love you. But it's not going to happen. Plus, I--

(He kisses her)

I didn't get to finish my speech.

--

Because I got through two tours of duty without shooting anybody. Why were you robbing a donut shop?

--

That is also true, insightful ghost.

--

That is so weird that you say that, because I have always wanted to go to Australia.

[So what's stopping you?]

Well, I have people. I have friends and I have family and I have an estranged husband and I am in a relationship. Kind of.

[So why didn't you go to him after you shot me?]

I don't know. I mean, he's seen me at my worst but not... quite like this.

[It ain't pretty.]

We spent a month at this cache in al-Anbar. Lost more wounded there than during my entire second tour. And then, at the end of our stay, this dog that hung around the hospital got run over--

[Wait, wait, your lowest point in Iraq is when a dog got flattened by a Humvee?]

No, it wasn't about the dog, idiot. It was about the stuff leading up to the dog. I don't even remember the dog's name. ...okay, it was Happy. Chris put him down for me. ... Can I see that phone?

[Hey, what are you doing?]

I'm calling him.

[Okay, but if he doesn't pick up we do things my way. Too bad. He's probably busy.]

So... Australia?

[Come on, let's get real. You know that's not where we're going.]

--

Why are you still here? What do you want?

[I want what you want, to be free of all this.]

I am not going to do that. It's crazy. I have a whole life here.

[You know what's crazy? The fact that you think you can live a normal life. You left a piece of yourself in Iraq that you're never gonna get back. You've seen too much, and now you can add murder to that list.]

Stop saying that word.

[You know the reason he didn't answer his phone? It's cause he doesn't want to take care of you for the rest of his life. You're never gonna be okay. The nightmares are never gonna stop. Maple bars are gonna start freaking you out now. Nobody's ever gonna love you.]

That's not true. Mike loves me.

[Not enough. It's only a matter of time before he finds somebody nice and normal. So let's just go. Let's just go wherever, I mean, as long as they serve booze.]

I hear Oregon's nice.

[Oregon. Okay. That's good.]

Mike.

[What? Man, what the hell is he doing here? What is he, telepathic?]

This is the beach we used to come to when we were kids. This is where we said I love you for the first time.

[Great. That was like a hundred years ago. Let him be. Just let him have a normal life.]

Mike! Mike!

[Hey. I'll see you around.]

[God, you had me scared.]

Sorry. Something really bad happened.

[Oh, I know. The whole thing, it wasn't your fault. You'll be okay.]

You promise?

[Yeah. Promise.]

--

To be honest, I'm having some trouble not dwelling, but with a place to go and knowing that I'm helping people, I think I can hold on.

--

Come on, it's my first-day-back-at-work-after-shooting-a-guy dinner! The least you can do is drink with me. ... Too soon?

--
Edited 2014-06-28 05:50 (UTC)