You're all about good works, aren't you, you sanctimonious prick? Did you tell her everything? About my power over her?
['Course not.]
Good, 'cause that could really bite you on the arse. Tell me, how long have you had the hots for Dawn? Or should I say the colds?
[Don't make this cheap.]
You wanna fuck her.
[I hate seeing you misuse your powers with such a great person.]
How would that go, Mister Freezy with the warmest, nicest person in the world?
[That's not why I helped her.]
You wanna hump her, shag her, make the beast with two backs.
[Fuck you!]
I'll get her back, Ty. One phone call, she's mine again.
[Don't do it to her, she deserves better than you.]
Oh, give me a break, Ty! You're the one who should be letting her go, not me. Unless you want Dawn to be another one of your girl friends. That is, a girl, who's just your friend. You give yourself away, Ty, all the time. Don't mess with my business again.
--
... I thought we were only having a drink.
[I couldn't let you leave without a proper tribute to your brilliance. And I have good news on many fronts-- not that you care, now that you've left. Glack & Stronack have given us the Australasian account.]
Don't they want to sue your arse for defaming their product?
[Initially, yes, but I talked them around and now Headstrong is the new Viagra. All thanks to us.]
But that's not true.
[Oh, we're making the appropriate denials but it's rushing off the shelves. All those punters want to get lucky and score themselves a cougar.]
Rosie's not a cougar.
[She is now and she's loving it. I got her two major magazine covers and a renewal on her contract.]
But I thought they wanted a younger demographic.
[Young is how you feel, baby, and Rosie has shown a whole new side to herself. Two years and a cougar confessional book deal. I love Rosie, I looked after her. And you, Dawn, you're my bedrock. My core values. Without you, I'm nothing; I want to look after you too. Please, please don't leave me.]
I want a pay rise.
[Done.]
--
Just get me home before somebody sees me in this shitty car.
[You're the one who dragged me out, then got pissed and then got us thrown out.]
They were all dogs anyway.
[They were nice girls! Until you started being horrible to them.]
They weren't her, though, were they?
[No. So?]
So they were all dogs. Your car smells real bad. (Horns beep) Fuck, okay!
--
[I'm off lunch.]
Ooh. Bring me back something?
[I can't. I'm actually having lunch with someone.]
Anyone I know?
[Just a friend.]
Girl friend or man friend?
[A none-of-your-business friend.]
You gonna come back all sweaty from sex?
[Ew. No. Oh, your brother's here. Be rude to him instead.]
Good, I need to talk to you.
[Why?]
I think we need to broaden our search criteria.
[How do you mean?]
The Frigg. Trawling bars isn't working, so--don't ask me why--I'm thinking churches.
[Why would a Norse goddess go to church?]
It might... fulfill something in her. We'll start Sunday morning.
[Oh, I sleep in on Sunday mornings so forget that. You remember the other night when I gave you a lift home?]
Vaguely. Your car smelled of feces.
[No. You didn't happen to leave anything in my car, did you?]
Apart from my dignity?
[Yeah, apart from that.]
Such as what?
[You'd know what if you left it there.]
Can you give me more of a clue?
[No, because it obviously wasn't you who left it there.]
Left what?
[None of your business!]
It was when you came in here.
[And now it's not.]
I think this church thing could be a real go.
[I've got way more important things to worry about right now.]
--
So that's why you were being Mr Mysterious. Why didn't you just ask?
[So you did leave them in my car.]
Oh, please. If I had a shitload of class-As on me, do you really think I'd be stupid enough to leave them in your piece of shit car?
[You were pretty pissed.]
Not that pissed. Where are they now?
[I don't know!]
Pity. Hospital cocaine, that's pure shit! Cocaine hydrochloride, they use that eye surgery and all kinds of stuff.
[Can we take this seriously, please?]
Mike, drugs are a subject I take very seriously. I even did a campaign for an anti-drug organisation once. The research was awesome.
[Anders, Axl could go inside for this. Thanks for the reminder, Mike!]
Three to nine years for supply. So you stole the drugs from the hospital, right?
[I didn't steal any drugs.]
Shut up and think. You go to the hospital for this appointment.
[Which was totally bogus.]
Oh, isn't that amazing? And next thing, low and behold, there's cocaine in your car.
[... Someone was using me to smuggle drugs out of the hospital.]
I so hope that fully powered up Odin is nowhere near as dense as you.
[What?]
You're being framed, Axl.
[Of course he's being framed! It's not like the blow fairy paid him a visit. But who would want to frame me? ...ah. Right.]
Yeah, now you're catching on.
[Shit. When I rang the number about the appointment, I thought the voice sounded familiar.]
Your goddess friend is back.
[Bitch.]
I so want to meet this woman.
[Jesus, Anders. She's trying to put our brother in prison!]
Exactly. No way is he going to find Frigg when he's inside for three to nine years, or if he does it's not going to be the Frigg we're looking for.
[Anders--]
What? It's a good plan. To buy them time to find Frigg first. What, I can't admire a good plan when I see one?
[I don't want to go to prison! You're not going to go to prison. How do you know! Because I'll figure out a way to beat their plan. I am so doomed. It's okay. We just have to think through the options.]
You two? What the hell are you two going to come up with? Drugs, chicks messing with your minds... drugs. This is so my territory and you know it. Axl, go home and do not leave. If your dickhead flatmate resurfaces, give me a call, but above all do not worry. Mike, you go home and worry 'cause that's what you do. But leave this to me because I am going to take these goddess bitches down.
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musetrash2012-06-05 01:36 am
no subject
[Not always, no.]
... That's a little bit hurtful.
--
You're all about good works, aren't you, you sanctimonious prick? Did you tell her everything? About my power over her?
['Course not.]
Good, 'cause that could really bite you on the arse. Tell me, how long have you had the hots for Dawn? Or should I say the colds?
[Don't make this cheap.]
You wanna fuck her.
[I hate seeing you misuse your powers with such a great person.]
How would that go, Mister Freezy with the warmest, nicest person in the world?
[That's not why I helped her.]
You wanna hump her, shag her, make the beast with two backs.
[Fuck you!]
I'll get her back, Ty. One phone call, she's mine again.
[Don't do it to her, she deserves better than you.]
Oh, give me a break, Ty! You're the one who should be letting her go, not me. Unless you want Dawn to be another one of your girl friends. That is, a girl, who's just your friend. You give yourself away, Ty, all the time. Don't mess with my business again.
--
... I thought we were only having a drink.
[I couldn't let you leave without a proper tribute to your brilliance. And I have good news on many fronts-- not that you care, now that you've left. Glack & Stronack have given us the Australasian account.]
Don't they want to sue your arse for defaming their product?
[Initially, yes, but I talked them around and now Headstrong is the new Viagra. All thanks to us.]
But that's not true.
[Oh, we're making the appropriate denials but it's rushing off the shelves. All those punters want to get lucky and score themselves a cougar.]
Rosie's not a cougar.
[She is now and she's loving it. I got her two major magazine covers and a renewal on her contract.]
But I thought they wanted a younger demographic.
[Young is how you feel, baby, and Rosie has shown a whole new side to herself. Two years and a cougar confessional book deal. I love Rosie, I looked after her. And you, Dawn, you're my bedrock. My core values. Without you, I'm nothing; I want to look after you too. Please, please don't leave me.]
I want a pay rise.
[Done.]
--
Just get me home before somebody sees me in this shitty car.
[You're the one who dragged me out, then got pissed and then got us thrown out.]
They were all dogs anyway.
[They were nice girls! Until you started being horrible to them.]
They weren't her, though, were they?
[No. So?]
So they were all dogs. Your car smells real bad. (Horns beep) Fuck, okay!
--
[I'm off lunch.]
Ooh. Bring me back something?
[I can't. I'm actually having lunch with someone.]
Anyone I know?
[Just a friend.]
Girl friend or man friend?
[A none-of-your-business friend.]
You gonna come back all sweaty from sex?
[Ew. No. Oh, your brother's here. Be rude to him instead.]
Good, I need to talk to you.
[Why?]
I think we need to broaden our search criteria.
[How do you mean?]
The Frigg. Trawling bars isn't working, so--don't ask me why--I'm thinking churches.
[Why would a Norse goddess go to church?]
It might... fulfill something in her. We'll start Sunday morning.
[Oh, I sleep in on Sunday mornings so forget that. You remember the other night when I gave you a lift home?]
Vaguely. Your car smelled of feces.
[No. You didn't happen to leave anything in my car, did you?]
Apart from my dignity?
[Yeah, apart from that.]
Such as what?
[You'd know what if you left it there.]
Can you give me more of a clue?
[No, because it obviously wasn't you who left it there.]
Left what?
[None of your business!]
It was when you came in here.
[And now it's not.]
I think this church thing could be a real go.
[I've got way more important things to worry about right now.]
--
So that's why you were being Mr Mysterious. Why didn't you just ask?
[So you did leave them in my car.]
Oh, please. If I had a shitload of class-As on me, do you really think I'd be stupid enough to leave them in your piece of shit car?
[You were pretty pissed.]
Not that pissed. Where are they now?
[I don't know!]
Pity. Hospital cocaine, that's pure shit! Cocaine hydrochloride, they use that eye surgery and all kinds of stuff.
[Can we take this seriously, please?]
Mike, drugs are a subject I take very seriously. I even did a campaign for an anti-drug organisation once. The research was awesome.
[Anders, Axl could go inside for this.
Thanks for the reminder, Mike!]
Three to nine years for supply. So you stole the drugs from the hospital, right?
[I didn't steal any drugs.]
Shut up and think. You go to the hospital for this appointment.
[Which was totally bogus.]
Oh, isn't that amazing? And next thing, low and behold, there's cocaine in your car.
[... Someone was using me to smuggle drugs out of the hospital.]
I so hope that fully powered up Odin is nowhere near as dense as you.
[What?]
You're being framed, Axl.
[Of course he's being framed! It's not like the blow fairy paid him a visit.
But who would want to frame me? ...ah. Right.]
Yeah, now you're catching on.
[Shit. When I rang the number about the appointment, I thought the voice sounded familiar.]
Your goddess friend is back.
[Bitch.]
I so want to meet this woman.
[Jesus, Anders. She's trying to put our brother in prison!]
Exactly. No way is he going to find Frigg when he's inside for three to nine years, or if he does it's not going to be the Frigg we're looking for.
[Anders--]
What? It's a good plan. To buy them time to find Frigg first. What, I can't admire a good plan when I see one?
[I don't want to go to prison!
You're not going to go to prison.
How do you know!
Because I'll figure out a way to beat their plan.
I am so doomed.
It's okay. We just have to think through the options.]
You two? What the hell are you two going to come up with? Drugs, chicks messing with your minds... drugs. This is so my territory and you know it. Axl, go home and do not leave. If your dickhead flatmate resurfaces, give me a call, but above all do not worry. Mike, you go home and worry 'cause that's what you do. But leave this to me because I am going to take these goddess bitches down.