musetrash | open rp post ➲ picture prompt meme

Heightened negative emotions, in an intensity I'm not meant to experience.

[His explanations to Gene are usually more extensive, but he's still distracted trying to keep his emotions in check. Now that he isn't stuck in a loop, Connor can scan again - not that he has access to police files or other external sources of information, but he can see that Gene's respiration and heart rate are both elevated. He seems to be experiencing the unpleasant effects of this place in his own way.]

Are you all right, Tech Sergeant?

'm alright, [He answers automatically, even though he knows Connor won't believe him and probably won't let it go that easily. The other warden is uncannily observant, and Gene has a feeling that would be the case even if Connor couldn't scan people.

Which is still pretty weird to think about, even after knowing him as long as he has.]

Jus' don't like bein' so cold.

[That's true enough at least, and he moves towards the fire eagerly. It's more than just the heat - there's something reassuring about it, like maybe the ghosts will stay away while they're close to something bright and hot and warm.]

You been seein' anythin' else weird about this place?

[Connor follows, the bright yellow of the flames playing warmly over their skin as they get close. It is oddly reassuring to get closer to the fireplace, and he can see Gene's tight muscles relax just a little as they do. He glances around the room after the medic asks the question, scanning for anything that seems out of place. Nothing.]

No, I don't see anything.

[A moment's pause, while Connor decides whether or not to ask the obvious question.]

What have you seen?

I don' really know. [That seems safe to admit, at least, and it's even somewhat reassuring to hear that whatever's going on might not be affecting Connor the way it's affecting him.

Not in the same way, anyway.

Gene sits down on a couch facing the fireplace before he says anything else, reaching inside his jacket pocket for his comm and handing it over to the other warden so Connor can see for himself.]

Couple of people've been sayin' they're seein' things. Bad stuff. I was wonderin' if maybe your bad feelings were related.

[Connor is just wondering whether he should press Gene on what exactly that means when he pulls out his comm and continues. Connor, obviously, hasn't looked as his own communicator since early this morning and he takes Gene's, scrolling through the various posts he's missed.]

It could be.

[Seeing the anger and fear working its way through the rest of the Barge crew is almost a relief. Maybe this isn't his program getting corrupted after all.]

If it is, it's possible it can't affect my optical sensors the way it affects humans.

So it's goin' for your brain instead. [Which isn't all that comforting, in some ways.

Gene stares into the fire, wondering if there was anything they could do to help keep Connor keep the frustration or anger in check. Not knowing what was causing all this in the first place made it difficult to find a solution for humans, let alone androids. This was-]

Julian! JULIAN!

[Gene jumps, head whipping around, eyes wide. The lobby behind them is empty, of course, but Babe Heffron's desperate screaming seems to echo over the howling wind outside anyway.]

[He's told Gene before about the difference between a human brain and his own programmed equivalent. He doesn't think it's quite correct that it's going for his brain - it seems more like it's attacking his thoughts - and he's about to suggest this when suddenly Gene's shooting bolt upright like he's been hit by an electric shock.

He doesn't hear or see anything except Gene's sudden frantic turn, the way his heart rate skyrockets and he's suddenly tensed up as if he's expecting a barrage of artillery to come smashing through the windows right at them. Connor scans the room again, focusing on the direction Gene's staring, but there's nothing there.]

What is it, Tech Sergeant?

[Gene snaps back towards Connor for a moment, as if he forgot he was there or just needs to check that he still is before going back to staring at the empty lobby.]

You didn't-? [He stops himself from completing the question. Of course Connor wouldn't have heard anything - he's apparently experiencing this place differently than everyone else.

It takes a minute for him to settle down enough to turn away, shuddering violently, like a dog trying to dry itself off. Babe's not here, and Julian's dead. No one's going to be screaming for a medic or needing comfort because the Krauts are going to be stripping the body of a friend they had to leave behind.

Gene runs a hand over his face, pushing his fingers through his dark hair, centering himself.]

It's nothin'. No one's there.

[Whether he's saying it for his own benefit or Connor's is unclear.]

[Even though he already scanned the room, Connor does it again, being careful just in case he missed something, but there really is nothing there. There's an uncomfortable twist of anxiety in his chest, which he tries to ignore. Gene's seeing things and, judging from the stricken look on his face and the way he drags his hand down his face, they're not good.

There's nowhere they can go in this weather. The driving snow and the cold may not bother him but Gene wouldn't last long out in the middle of it, let alone the rest of the Barge denizens. There are no vehicles that anyone found, as far as he knows.

He examines the medic for a moment or two more before he speaks carefully, voice dropping, concern obvious in his tone.]

What did you see, Gene?

Edited 2018-09-06 05:02 (UTC)

Nothin’. [He’s telling the truth. There’s no sign of Heffron - yet, anyway - and no Julian choking to death on his own blood with his throat ripped open. Gene knows there wasn’t anything anyone could have done, that the patrol had to leave him there, but he can’t help but wonder if they’d let him come, if maybe the Germans would have been merciful when they saw he was a medic just trying to drag the kid to safety, maybe-

It’s something he’s thought about a lot since it happened, the same way he’s thought about all the guys he couldn’t save, and for a moment he just focuses on breathing, trying to force himself to calm down.]

I heard someone yellin’. Someone from back home. [The admission comes slowly, almost against his will, and he knows it probably sounds crazy to Connor who might not be capable of hallucinating the way he is. He schools his expression carefully, not wanting to give the android more reason to worry. He’s fine, he’s calm. He can handle this.]

Been seein’ some stuff too.

[Connor probably isn't capable of hallucinating the same way, but the manifestation of unknown program errors in himself could easily count as a kind of android hallucination, right? There's the evidence from the posts on the network and his own experiences to back up what Gene's saying. He doesn't sound crazy and he's not showing others signs of any break with reality.]

You're experiencing hallucinations.

[It's almost a question, but not quite, and he nods sympathetically. That's the only explanation that's logical, even though the Barge isn't always a logical place.]

Were they calling for you? It could be some kind of trap or attempt to lure people to separate from one another.

No. [Well, that’s not strictly true, and he grimaces as he catches himself.] Not this time.

[Sometimes they’re not calling for him either, they just seem scared or like they want to talk. Some of them seem angry, and there’s a part of him that goes white hot with anger as he thinks about the hotel manipulating his memories of the dead, using them like this, while another part just feels sick with dread that they were all counting on him and he couldn’t do anything to save them. Sometimes there’s just nothing that can be done.

He swallows, nodding in agreement with Connor. That makes sense. Probably better to keep people isolated and afraid than together and supported.]

I know they ain’t really here. Been tryin’ to just ignore them as best I can, but Heffron- [He pulls a face, uncomfortable.] He ain’t dead, guess it caught me off guard.

Edited 2018-09-06 12:15 (UTC)

[It's a sign of how much he's still off-balance from the loop he got trapped in that it takes him a moment or two to realise that what Gene's saying means that everyone he's been seeing and hearing have been dead. Who would he see if he was human? The deviant on the roof? Ortiz's android?

Not that they're dead. Machines can't die. He knows that. He knows the difference.]

Heffron?

[It comes out without him fully intending to ask, not weighing all the options of what he could say before he says it.]

One of the guys in my unit. Redhead, from Philly. [He’d dragged Gene out of his foxhole when he’d been too drawn in on himself to respond to Winters’s calls for a medic. That was the last time he saw him before he left for the Barge all of an hour later. He’d had a bad cold earlier but Gene didn’t remember hearing his barking cough while Heffron was yelling at him to get out of his hole.

He hopes he’s okay. Hopes hearing him here is just a prank, not a sign that-

Gene sniffs, the cold - or the reminder of it - making it feel like his nose is on the edge of running.] His buddy Julian got hit in the neck on a patrol. Bled to death. No one could get to him because the Germans kept shootin’ at anyone who got close. Heard Heffron yellin’ for him.

Edited 2018-09-06 16:30 (UTC)

[Connor listens, intent on Gene's explanation. It's easier to focus on the other warden's voice and his words (the way his heart rate picks up a fraction when he talks about having to leave Julian where he was) than to let his creeping fear of his own deviancy take over. He won't be any use if he lets it take over again.]

I thought there was an unspoken policy of leniency for medics attending wounded soldiers.

[He did some reading up about World War II after he met Gene, recalls the passages that spoke about it.]

I wasn't there. [It comes out even enough, but the sharp ache of shame at admitting it settles over him heavily all the same as he watches the flames eat away at the wood in the fireplace.] Told me to stay back and keep outta trouble before they left.

[They might not have stopped if he was there, he knows that, but he hunches in on himself even more, bracing himself against the chill.

But then he catches himself doing it and shakes his head a little - snap out of it - and looks back up at Connor and away from the fire.]

Sorry. You lemme know if anythin' I'm saying's making things worse, okay?

Oh.

[Connor doesn't exactly wince, but he comes close. He was made to be aware of social cues and fit seamlessly into a team and that feels like a misstep. Gene doesn't sound devastated saying it or anything, but there's something in his voice. The turn of the conversation back to him is welcome enough, even if it sends him back thinking about corruption and deviancy.]

Sure.

[He hesitates for a moment but eventually starts to try and explain:] It's not anything you've said. There's... been an increasing number of cases related to androids going rogue at home. It's called deviancy. The deviants are often violent to their owners and other humans around them. We don't know what causes it. But they display emotional malfunctions.

[Being reminded that Connor has an owner where he comes from is always unsettling, as is the reminder that Connor doesn’t actually experience emotions the way a human does. He seems so human, with a personality and what seems like genuine empathy. Even after knowing him for a while, it’s still hard to think of him as anything but a person.

Still, he definitely understands feeling unsettled when you’re overwhelmed by things out of your control.]

I get it, [He finally says, voice gentle, hopefully reassuring.] It’s scary, feelin’ like you don’ have any control and don’t know what’s gonna happen. But I bet it’s jus’ this place. Doesn’t mean you’re gonna go crazy.

Edited 2018-09-06 21:54 (UTC)

I hope not. We don't have the facilities here to reboot me properly if I do.

[He says it a little wryly, almost like a joke, but of course it's not a joke at all.]

[It's at least enough to get a small, twitchy smile out of Gene. It's over and gone in a flash, but maybe that's better than nothing.]

There anything that helps 'em, once they've gone deviant? [Is there something he can do to help you is mostly what he's curious about. This definitely feels like one of those things that gets worse before it gets better.]

[Unfortunately, there's not a really hopeful answer he can give here. He sits back in his chair, shifting his feet a fraction on the floor, shaking his head.]

We don't know what causes it. Deviants that we've caught so far have been taken apart to search for malfunctioning biocomponents or errors in programming, but nothing has been identified yet.

[A tiny frown creases his brows.]

A lot of them have been damaged or destroyed in the process of capturing them. Deviants are prone to self-destruct. And there was one - it struck its head against the cell's window until it destroyed itself.

Jesus. [It slips out without thinking, and he carefully tries to school his expression into something that's not horrified just thinking about it. That's not going to happen to Connor.

(This is why he's not supposed to make friends. Watching Connor destroy himself sounds about as bad as watching guys get obliterated by mortar fire, and a heavy tension settles on his shoulders.)

He takes a breath, settles for something calming, the same voice he uses when he's telling a scared replacement that the shrapnel he's pulling out of their arm isn't that bad, that they're going to be okay.]

Well, whatever it is ain't gonna be permanent. Just gotta keep calm until this is all over.

[Gene's reaction is strangely reassuring - his first instinctual reaction, that is. That horror is somehow kinder than just the disgust or pity of the other police officers in the DPD and it makes him feel a little better.

(He'd felt his own kind of muted horror watching Carlos Ortiz's android bash its head open against the glass, the blue thirium dripping down the window, as much as he probably should have only felt irritation at the destruction of a deviant that could have been tested by Cyberlife.)

Connor looks at Gene and nods, grateful for the comfort. It's strange to be treated as human, but he's used to Gene's need to help others by now and at the moment he welcomes it.]

Tell me, if you see me start acting erratically again, okay? Stop me if you can.

Edited 2018-09-07 03:23 (UTC)

Sure thing. [It's an easy promise to make, even if there's still lingering anxiety at the idea of watching the android lose himself. Gene has no real idea of what to do if Connor starts acting strangely again besides talk to him and try to redirect him to something else, but he's not so low that he's going to resign them both and everyone else here to going crazy.]

Thanks, Gene.

[He's quiet for a while, watching the flames. As long as Gene doesn't go chasing his hallucinations out into the snow and he doesn't fall into a paranoid diagnostics loop, maybe they can help each other through this unscathed. He trusts Gene to help him and he knows he'll try to keep the medic from doing anything irrational, so maybe it'll be all right.]

How much longer do you think it will be before the Barge comes back to collect us again?

[Gene pulls a face, considering, his frustration with the Admiral flaring up at the reminder that they were here as the result of bad driving or some sick sense of humor.]

Been here three days, maybe two or three more? [Based on his best guess anyway. He's never heard of a port lasting much more than a week.]

At least we got food, and we ain't out in the snow.

[Seeing the specters of dead guys would be worse out there. The cold is a bad enough reminder of Bastogne on its own.]

That matches up with the historical data I've seen about ports. It's not so long to hold it together.

[Connor nods his agreement. He doesn't bother to remind Gene he doesn't need to eat and the cold likely wouldn't be strong enough or have the time to affect him. There's no point, because Gene needs those things, as do most of the rest of the Barge.]

Even if there's something in the hotel causing our problems, it's better we're inside than out.

Guess you'd probably be used to snow even if you weren't a robot, [Gene points out, almost kidding, considering he's from Detroit and all.] Think I've seen about enough of it for a while.

[And that was before they'd been dumped on the literal doorstep to this place with nothing but winter coats and a well stocked kitchen.]

Not gonna complain too much if the next port we go's somewhere warm.

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