[first lines; we hear knocking on a door and then Andrew, in his bedroom, positions his video camera on a tripod, facing it at a mirror]
Andrew Detmer: What do you want?
Richard Detmer: Why is this door locked, Andrew?
Andrew Detmer: I'm getting ready for school.
Richard Detmer: Open this door, Andrew? Listen to me.
Andrew Detmer: No, you're drunk.
Richard Detmer: I'm what? Excuse me? I said, unlock the door. Andrew?
Andrew Detmer: Dad, it is seven thirty in the a.m. and you are drunk.
Richard Detmer: You don't tell me if I'm drunk or not, you little shit!
Andrew Detmer: Aren't you?
Richard Detmer: What are you doing in there? Huh?
[Andrew's father bangs the door]
Andrew Detmer: I'm filming this.
Richard Detmer: Huh? What?
Andrew Detmer: I bought a camera and I'm filming everything from here on out.
[we hear footsteps as Andrew's father walks away]


[Andrew points his camera at his terminally ill mother]
Andrew Detmer: Mom? Mom?
[his mother opens her eyes and smiles as Andrew films her]
Andrew Detmer: Hey! Say hello to my new camera for me.
Karen Detmer: Who's the audience?
Andrew Detmer: Just the millions of people that are watching at home.
Karen Detmer: Do I look awful?
Andrew Detmer: No, no. Mom, you look...you look great.
Karen Detmer: It's a nice camera.
Andrew Detmer: Oh, thanks, mom.


[Andrew films his cousin Matt, as drives Andrew to school]
Matt Garetty: So uh...should I ask about the camera or...?
Andrew Detmer: I don't know. Um...I'm filming things now. I'm filming everything.
Matt Garetty: Filming everything?
Andrew Detmer: Yeah.
Matt Garetty: Okay.


[Andrew continues to film Matt as he's driving them to school]
Matt Garetty: Have you ever read any Arthur Schopenhauer?
Andrew Detmer: No. What is Arthur Schopenhauer?
Matt Garetty: He's um...he's a philosopher that I'm reading at the moment.
Andrew Detmer: For school?
Matt Garetty: No. No. Uh...basically human beings have to recognize themselves as beings of pure will, right?
Andrew Detmer: Okay.
Matt Garetty: So, all emotional and physical desires can never be fulfilled.
Andrew Detmer: So, basically you're telling me that I should give up on life.
Matt Garetty: Yes.
[they both laugh]


[as Matt drives up to the school parking lot and parks his car]
Andrew Detmer: Are you not coming in?
Matt Garetty: I'm gonna hang back a while, okay?
Andrew Detmer: Uh...you're gonna be late for first period.
Matt Garetty: Yeah. I'll pick you up after seven.


[Andrew films the hallways as he walks to class]
Andrew Detmer: This is my school, I guess.


[Andrew films the football field]
Andrew Detmer: This is where I eat lunch, out here on the bleachers.
[as he sits down to eat his lunch he positions his camera behind him, filming the cheerleaders practicing, one of the cheerleaders walks up to Andrew]
Cheerleader: Hi.
Andrew Detmer: Hey.
Cheerleader: Could you not video tape us, please? It's really creepy.
Andrew Detmer: Uh...no, I wasn't...


Andrew Detmer: This is the hallway where my locker is.
[suddenly a bully wrestles the camera away from Andrew]
Sean: Woh! What is this? Huh? What's on television?
[Sean turns the camera around and we see Andrew being held by another bully]
Bully #1: Man, you're on film. Turn to the camera.
[the second bully repeatedly slaps Andrew in the face]
Bully #1: You gonna cry? You gonna cry?
[Sean makes fun of Andrew]
Sean: Man you look pretty.
[the second bully continues to slap Andrew]
Bully #1: You gonna cry?


[Sean is still filming Andrew after taking his camera away from him]
Andrew Detmer: Sean, come on. Give it back?
Sean: Huh? You want your camera? Piece of shit from like 2004?
[he drops Andrew's camera to the ground]
Bully #1: Here you go. Here she is. In on piece.
[he kicks the camera towards Andrew nearly knocking it into the lockers]
Andrew Detmer: Woh! Guys!
Bully #1: Almost.
[Sean laughs]
Andrew Detmer: Assholes!


[Andrew films Matt as he drives him home from school]
Matt Garetty: There's a party tonight.
Andrew Detmer: That's okay.
Matt Garetty: Haven Hills.
Andrew Detmer: Wait, I thought Haven Hills was closed.
Matt Garetty: It's abandoned, yeah. What, you don't wanna go?
Andrew Detmer: No.
Matt Garetty: When was the last time you went to a party?
Andrew Detmer: I don't go to parties.
Matt Garetty: You are a senior.
Andrew Detmer: I don't want to go to the party.
Matt Garetty: You are a senior! Just come.
Andrew Detmer: I'll think about it, okay?
Matt Garetty: Okay. But when we go tonight, Andrew, can I give you like a pro-tip?
Andrew Detmer: What?
Matt Garetty: Maybe leave your camera at home.
Andrew Detmer: Why?
Matt Garetty: Because, it's a little weird.
Andrew Detmer: It serves a purpose.
Matt Garetty: I'm...I'm just trying to be a good cousin here. Okay? This is me being a friend, and telling you should probably not take the camera to a party.
Andrew Detmer: Okay.


[in his bedroom, Andrew is watching the footage he'd filmed earlier in the day when his father walks into his room]
Andrew Detmer: What do you want?
[suddenly Andrew's father grabs him, hits him and throws him to the floor]
Richard Detmer: When I say open that door, you open the door. You got it? Finish your Goddamn homework!


[as Matt drives towards where the party is being held]
Andrew Detmer: Wow, look! A rave!
Matt Garetty: Oh wow, look! A nerd with a camera!


[Andrew is filming them walking into the party]
Matt Garetty: Just stop following me around all night, okay?
Andrew Detmer: What do you mean? I thought...I thought you wanted me to come with you?
Matt Garetty: I did. I did. But just go and do your own thing for once, okay? Just have a beer, talk to people.
Andrew Detmer: I don't drink.


[as Andrew films the crowd of party-goers he spots another student filming the crowd, at which point she also spots him]
Casey Letter: Hey! What are you filming for?
Andrew Detmer: Uh...I...Uh...!
Casey Letter: What?
Andrew Detmer: I'm just...
Casey Letter: I can't hear you!
Andrew Detmer: I'm just filming.
Casey Letter: Oh, cool! Cool! I'm filming for my blog.
Andrew Detmer: Oh!
Casey Letter: You should check it out. It's actually...



[as Matt interrupts Andrew's conversation with Casey]
Matt Garetty: This is pretty lame, right?
Casey Letter: Why is it lame?
[she points her camera at Matt and we also see the footage from her camera]
Matt Garetty: You know, Jung said parties are just people's way of seeking widespread validation. I'm not one to clamber to be cool, you know?
Casey Letter: [sarcastically] Wow! Way to put it in analytical psychology spin on this barn party, Matt. That's awesome. Awesome.
[Casey turns and walks away]
Matt Garetty: You're awesome.
Andrew Detmer: Hey, Matt? Hey, what did Jung say glow sticks?
[Matt gives Andrew the finger and walks off]


[Andrew retreats outside and silently cries after he'd been spat on by a guy at the party for filming his girlfriend dancing]
Steve Montgomery: Andrew! Andrew, with the camera. Can we...can we use that thing?
Andrew Detmer: What?
Steve Montgomery: We found the craziest shit and we gotta get it on tape.
Andrew Detmer: Uh...it's not
Steve Montgomery: What's up, man? You okay?
Andrew Detmer: Yeah, I'm...I'm Andrew.
Steve Montgomery: Okay. I'm Steve.
[he hold out is hand to shake with Andrew]
Steve Montgomery: Steve Montgomery.
Andrew Detmer: Yeah, I know.
Steve Montgomery: Really?


Steve Montgomery: Matt and I were just hanging out and we found this cool little...this thing.
Andrew Detmer: Wait, you're with Matt?
Steve Montgomery: You might wanna...
Andrew Detmer: No, I just
Steve Montgomery: You might wanna get this on tape.
Andrew Detmer: No, I don't really...
Steve Montgomery: Dude, just come on. Just come get it on tape. It'll be cool.
Andrew Detmer: I don't know.
Steve Montgomery: Trust me.
Andrew Detmer: Alright.
Steve Montgomery: Yeah, man.


[Andrew films as he follows Steve into the woods]
Steve Montgomery: You know there are like tons of girls around here, right? And you're all by yourself, next to a tree.
Andrew Detmer: I'm just really picky.


[Andrew continues filming Steve as they walk into the woods]
Andrew Detmer: What were you guys doing out here?
Steve Montgomery: Bunch of people were out here, cause we were like obsessed with the thing.
Andrew Detmer: What thing?
Steve Montgomery: You'll see.
[they continue to walk into the woods]
Steve Montgomery: Ah, that's right! Andrew Detmer! I remember you from home in freshman year, you always had that grey zip-up hoodie.
[Steve calls out to Matt]
Andrew Detmer: You remember that?
Steve Montgomery: Yeah. I got...I got a thing for faces, which is why I'm going into politics.


[Steve finds Andrew, and calls out to him]
Andrew Detmer: Guys, what is that?
[Matt is standing next to a mysterious crater in the earth]
Matt Garetty: Do you see it? Is that the camera?
Steve Montgomery: Yeah! I got him!
Andrew Detmer: Do you guys know how to get back from here?


[as they get close to the crater, Steve jokes around]
Steve Montgomery: Andrew, what's making that sound?
[Steve and Matt lie down next to the crater to listen to the sounds that are echoing from the crater]
Matt Garetty: Come here. Listen to this. Listen to this.
[Andrew hesitates close to the crater]
Steve Montgomery: No! No! No! You gotta get in! You gotta literally...almost...!
Andrew Detmer: Okay. Don't push me!
Matt Garetty: We're not gonna push you in. Were just trying to get in on camera.
Steve Montgomery: Listen.
[Andrew gets closer to the crater and point the camera down the hole]
Matt Garetty: Listen. Can you hear that?
Andrew Detmer: What...?
[suddenly they hear a loud screeching noise coming from the crater]
Steve Montgomery: Wait! How creepy is that?


[as the screeching noise continues to echo through the crater]
Matt Garetty: Is the sound coming up?
Andrew Detmer: I don't know. I mean, probably. It is pretty loud, right?
[Matt shouts down the crater]
Matt Garetty: Hello?
Steve Montgomery: Alright, dude. We're going inside.
Andrew Detmer: I'm going back. Come on, you guys.
Steve Montgomery: I gotta know, man. I gotta know.
Andrew Detmer: Matt, seriously?
[suddenly Steve jumps into the crater]
Andrew Detmer: Wait! Hey! Steve!
[Matt laughs as Steve shouts his own name]
Matt Garetty: Oh, shit! He's a ninja.
Andrew Detmer: Matt!
[suddenly Matt attempts to climb down the crater]
Andrew Detmer: Woh! Matt! Matt! Matt! What are you doing? Are you serious?
Matt Garetty: Hey, dude, can you give us some light?
Andrew Detmer: Matt, don't be an idiot!
[Matt jumps down the crater and disappears]
Andrew Detmer: Matt, you're my ride home!


[Andrew films as the three go deeper into the circular tunnel]
Andrew Detmer: Does it go down much deeper, or what?
Steve Montgomery: Yeah, man. It goes really really far.
Matt Garetty: Andrew, bring the light. Look at the walls, it's like a straight shot down. We've probably already come, like, forty or five feet.
Andrew Detmer: Yeah, just don't talk about it. Okay?
Matt Garetty: You ever heard of Plato's Allegory of the Cave?
Andrew Detmer: I don't know, Matt. Let's just get this over with.


[at the end of the tunnel they reach a cavern and at it's center is a mysterious giant crystal]
Steve Montgomery: Holy shit!
Matt Garetty: What the hell is that?
Andrew Detmer: Matt, I'm not kidding. I can't breathe.
Matt Garetty: Look at this!
Andrew Detmer: What the...?
Matt Garetty: Can you believe this?
Andrew Detmer: Matt! What am I looking at?
[the crystal glows electric blue and suddenly the screeching noise becomes louder]
Steve Montgomery: Ah! Shit!
Andrew Detmer: I'm freaking out right now! Matt! Can we get out of here, please?!
Matt Garetty: It is showing up on the camera like that?
Andrew Detmer: I don't know, Matt! It's messing with it, I don't really wanna film...
Matt Garetty: Dude, I'll buy you a new one.


[Andrew film Steve standing close a protruding object sticking out of the crystal]
Andrew Detmer: Matt! Matt, look at this!
Matt Garetty: What?
Andrew Detmer: Look at this!
Matt Garetty: Dude, what is...? Woh!
[Steve touches the object and it turns red]
Andrew Detmer: Dude, no way!
[Matt says something but the there's interference noise on the camera]
Andrew Detmer: I can't here you!
Steve Montgomery: This is awesome!
[suddenly Steve's nose starts to bleed]
Andrew Detmer: Dude, your nose!
[Matt and Andrew shout as Steve collapses, the camera then fizzles and amidst the sound of commotion it cuts to black]


[we see Andrew filming Steve and Matt instructing them where to stand]
Andrew Detmer: Matt, dude, put your phone down. Turn it off!
Matt Garetty: Okay. Okay. Okay.
Andrew Detmer: Right, Steve, you too. Alright? We have to document this. Okay? Are you guys ready?
Steve Montgomery: Yeah, alright.
Andrew Detmer: Alright, here we go. Okay, Steve, can you move to your left?
Steve Montgomery: Here?
Andrew Detmer: Um...yeah, that's good. And then Matt, can you just go right in front of Steve?
Matt Garetty: Here?
Andrew Detmer: Um...yeah, perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this is the ball test.
Steve Montgomery: Ready?
Matt Garetty: Yeah.
[Steve throws the baseball in his hand at Matt and hits him the face, Steve laughs as Matt is hurt and angry, we then see various footage of Matt and Steve pitching baseball at one another in air-bending ways]


[Steve gets behind the camera as Matt throws the baseball at Andrew and Andrew stops the ball mid-air with his mind]
Steve Montgomery: That is crazy!
Matt Garetty: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Steve Montgomery: Holy sh...!
[suddenly Andrew's nose starts to bleed]
Matt Garetty: Oh, my God. Oh, dude, you're bleeding. You're bleeding
Andrew Detmer: Shit.
Steve Montgomery: Stop! Stop! Stop! Get a tissue.
Matt Garetty: You did it! Yes!


[Matt is behind the camera filming as Steve listens to the angry voice message his girlfriend left him]
Steve Montgomery: I'm gonna get a brick through my window. I am legitimately scared. I have an election coming up and I don't have time for this.
Matt Garetty: Dude, why are you asking us for advice on girls?
Andrew Detmer: Because we're his mistress.
[they all laugh]


[Andrew films as Matt is driving]
Andrew Detmer: So, what? You think it's like radiation or something?
Steve Montgomery: Radiation from what?
Matt Garetty: Dude, it's the government.
Steve Montgomery: What? Matt, what are you talking about?
Andrew Detmer: I'm feeling pretty splunked out, actually.
Steve Montgomery: Andrew, relax.


[Andrew films the barn where the party took place that night of the crater discovery]
Matt Garetty: That's so weird. It looks completely different during the day.
[films skips to show them walking in the woods towards the crater again]
Andrew Detmer: Look, I don't care. I am not going in the hole again.
[suddenly Steve turns and jumps towards Andrew to scare him]
Andrew Detmer: Asshole.
[they find the crater and find that it's caved in]
Matt Garetty: It's like sunk in or something.
Steve Montgomery: There goes your old camera, dude.
Andrew Detmer: Oh, shit.


[they get close to the caved in crater and Steve touches the dirt on top of the crater]
Steve Montgomery: It's weird, I can still feel it down there.
Andrew Detmer: I can't believe we made it out of there.
Steve Montgomery: Whoa! I mean, that answers that, right?
Andrew Detmer: Um...what does? We still don't know what happened?
Steve Montgomery: We're still alive.
Matt Garetty: I mean, I was definitely...
[they get interrupted by a park ranger]
Park Ranger: Hey! You guys can't be here, okay? You gotta move on out.
Matt Garetty: What?
Park Ranger: Ground's unstable. We're taping the whole place off.
[they turn and leave]